Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
PS: I just woke up from my shower
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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