I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My breasts were aching with rage.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
