YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
