she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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