Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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