Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he was CRYING into my vagina
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
