Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
