Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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