I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
