Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Randomize
