Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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