The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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