shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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