FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
