just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
