Just took my morning after pill in the library
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
