I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
