drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
