just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
