My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I need moral support for this bender
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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