i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
