I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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