I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
