Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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