3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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