You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
