I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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