that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
