just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
it's like iHOP with fire
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
