So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
