If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
