Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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