I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
