Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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