Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
