Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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