This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
