I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
