Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
