hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize