so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
