She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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