So drunk its hurt
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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