Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
