just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize