why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
