I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
