I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
