i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
