I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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