Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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