I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
