why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
This show inspires me to have sex in space
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
