He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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