Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
