we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I believe in your delicious
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
