I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Enjoy the penises
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
