i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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