We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
