that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
