I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Rumble strips road head = magical
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
