last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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