He had one of those small greek statue penises
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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