You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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