I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Holy sore nipples Batman
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Bring me that man meat
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
